🔗 Share this article

When I came of age in the 1990s, officials gave the impression that income inequality based on sex was best addressed by advising females that they could do anything. Splashy, lurid pink ads assured me that institutional and cultural obstacles would crumble before my self-assurance.

Scholars have since disproven the idea that someone can transform their existence through upbeat attitudes. An author, in his work Selfie, explains how the free-market ideology of fair competition supports much of personal development trends.

Yet, I still feel remains convinced that if I work hard and glue together a solid dream collage, I should be able to attain my most ambitious goals: the only thing standing between me and my destiny rests on my shoulders. What is the path to a state of balance, an equilibrium between having faith in my boundless abilities but am not responsible for every failure?

The Answer Resides in Modesty

The answer, as stated by a fourth-century philosopher, a theologian from ancient Africa, centers on meekness. Augustine wrote that humility served as the base of every other moral quality, and that for someone seeking God “the initial step requires modesty; the following, humility; the last, self-effacement”.

Being an ex-Catholic such as myself, the word “humility” may trigger a range of negative emotions. My upbringing occurred during a period in Catholicism when focusing on physical beauty equated to narcissism; lust was deemed improper outside of procreation; and even pondering solo sex could lead to punishment.

I don’t think that this was Saint Augustine’s intention, but over a long period, I conflated “meekness” with shame.

Balanced Modesty Isn’t About Personal Disgust

Being humble, based on doctor Ravi Chandra, isn’t equivalent to hating oneself. An individual practicing constructive modesty is proud of their capabilities and achievements while acknowledging that knowledge is infinite. Chandra describes various types of meekness: modesty regarding cultures; meekness across ages; modesty in knowledge; meekness about what one knows; recognition of room for growth; humility of wisdom; humility of awe; and compassion in pain.

Psychological research has similarly found multiple perks arising from intellectual humility, encompassing greater resilience, acceptance and bonding.

Meekness in Action

Through my profession in spiritual support roles with elderly residents, I now think about meekness as the effort of being present to the other. Modesty functions as a way to reconnect: returning, step by step, to the floor under my feet and the human being before me.

Certain individuals who tell me identical stories drawn from their experiences, repeatedly, every time I see them. In place of monitoring time, I attempt to hear. I try to stay curious. What lessons are there from this person and the stories that have stayed with them when so much else has gone?

Philosophical Stillness

I attempt to embrace the spiritual mindset as described by scholar Huston Smith called “productive stillness”. Taoist philosophers encourage humans to quiet the ego and reside in sync with the universe’s rhythm.

This might be especially relevant amid efforts to restore the damage our species has done on the environment. In her book Fathoms: The World in the Whale, writer Rebecca Giggs clarifies that embracing modesty helps us re-connect with “the primal self, the entity that fears in the face of the unknown". Adopting a stance of modesty, of not-knowing, enables us to recognize people are components of a greater entity.

The Grace of Humility

There’s a desolation and gloom that follows assuming no limits exist: success – if it involves getting rich, shedding pounds, or winning the presidential race – becomes the only acceptable option. Modesty allows for grace and failure. I practice modesty, rooted in the earth, which means all necessities are present to grow.